Ladies and gentleman, announcing to you the 2008 Thai Mission trip whereby many of us is still a “virgin” when come to this kind of activities.

And so many of us, which many of us don’t know what to expect, or expecting the wrong things, or expecting something which they themselves not really know what are they expecting… (am I tongue speaking now?)… honestly, i belong to all these three categories while not knowing how is the rest of the “team members”… maybe some shared the same comment as I am? Ha ha~

We have been to many places in Bangkok (but i would not share the detail here, but in latter post), we have visited many churches, we have walk the beautiful and happening seaside of Bangkok; We have climbed to rural mountain of Chang Rai (or it’s Laos?) where the Laos people live.

… and where ever there is a “must go place”, we will be there; where ever there is a “must eat delicacies”, we will be there… thanks to the Thai people whom are always so passionate and warmth… they make sure we eat the best, sleep in the best way… we are being treated like king~!

Then I can’t help but to think this way… Hmmm, I thought we are supposed the one whom served them more? Why now the opposite? Can’t help but there is a strong sense of guiltiness in my heart.

But then again, few hours ago (before I write this blog), during the final meeting for this mission trip, I able to recall back what was happened in Liverpool, UK when I was studying there.

Every Thursday or Sunday, after the church service or activities and it’s time to bid farewell, there is a brother (which I’m deeply regret for not able to remember his name) always offer to give me a ride back to my hostel, which I always reject as I’m really enjoy the walk in Liverpool’s Albert Dock (by the sea) while going back to my hostel. Then one day, Pastor reminded me that maybe I should consider again his offer as it is the right thing to do too.

I’m not able to understand it at that period of time, I thought I was saving times, energy and not to mentioned the petrol cost (by Pounds per liter, Oh my my dear queen of England~!)… until I’m able to step into his shoes and look from his perspective in this matter….

Well, I’m definitely killed off the opportunity for him to serve him. I might have unintentionally with a bit of cruelty squashing his deeds of love into the Merseyside River… Hmmmm, I’m sure hope that people will accept my offer of help when I really intend, eager, and gladly to do so…

Perhaps I can understand this lyrics better now: “the greatest things you ever learnt is to love… and be love in return…”

Love others unconditionally… and to accept love with a heart of thanksgiving.

Thank you brothers and sisters in Thailand for the love you have poured in my life, but I do wish I could love you all like the way you all have love me, or even more than that. Please do forgive my unfriendly and unsociable attitude, acting like a Queen of ice.

For now, we bid farewell to each others… till the next time we meet, whether in Thailand, or Malaysia, or anywhere. Kapkunkap and Sawadikap~! God bless~!

Whenever we talked about happiness, most of the time we are talking about our life, or our life purposes, or why are we here? or where are we going?

"Live your life to the fullest~!"

I wondered those people who boldly said such bold line:"Live your life to the fullest" really know what it really meant… maybe everyone of them had either copy it from soap opera or from some "ever repeating words of encouragement" motivational books which more than 70% of such publications produced/back up by multilevel marketing organizations.

(Of course, I’m one of those bozo that don’t have much clues what does such line really mean but for sure I have use such line to encourage my friends… strange enough, such words seems to be have some healing power that even though the hearers might not have any clue whatever it mean, it give them hope. Perhaps it is another type of superstitious?)

Lets go back to the origin of life… my "origin" of life la this time… am I using the right English? Or so called the historical events of my views towards life goal:

0-5 years old    : sleep, eat, play, sayang by parents, no school please
6-12 years old  : play and no school
12-18 years     : Who wanna become a millionaire? me!, Michael Jordan wanna-be;
                        "Love, love… where is my love?"
18-current age : "Love, love… where is my love?"

Guess the above time line is easier to summarize the transition of my life goal throughout my age. Currently, it is obvious my purpose on earth is seeking for love. Who don’t anyway? (Of course, rare exception for those sami (monk), or those gurus that had their sense of desire removed somehow.)

"Love, love… where is my love?" May I have all the attention of the earthling please, will the real earth leader/authority please stand up? take me to him/her so that I may have my question answered? Or else I will have your earth destroy~!

"Love, love… where is my love?" Does this alien know what he is seeking? Can love be found when he is willing to destroy for the sake of it? i think the answer is quite obvious.

Take a deep breathe… relax our mind… look at the stars above… they have been silently blinking for the whole universe throughout the ages…

Loosen up the fist… open the heart and mind… the perhaps this alien will discover that strangely enough… he too blinking like the stars… bringing hope, warmth, and love to those around him.

Understanding his life purposes on this earth now… the alien can no longer threatening to destroy life or the earth. Now, under the starry starry night… the alien sleep comfortably as the darkness of the sky cover him like a blanket… sleep with the heart that full of love as the stars above telling/forming many illustrative bed time stories to accompany him to sleep…

Are you restless tonight my friend? Tension? Or maybe even want to destroy the earth? Don’t worry… there is an alien or many aliens that are the stars wannabe… hoping to become the stars of the night…  to accompany you… to live your/my/our life to the fullest…to shine for the universe… to the people around us… throughout the ages…

Earthling… I come with love… lets love one another…

2:19am earth (Blue planet/3rd rock, Malaysia time)
24th March 08 (After Easter)

Love is in de Air~

Can’t you smell it?

Can’t you see it?

Can’t you feel it?

Love is not in the air… it is the air~

When you breathe in, you inhale love,

And whatever you exhale…those are the expression of love~

Did you smell the aroma of roses before?

The aroma itself is not love, love is the aroma~

Be it the smell fro the paradise, or be it the odor from the sweaty jersey…

As long as it is from our love one, sorry my dear durian, you only came in the second place behind it.

Have you been standing at the edge of the world witnessing the sunrise?

The sun loses its brightness comparing to the sight of your love one turn and smile at you.

When he/she staring at you eyes to eyes, you fall from the edge of the cliff…into his/her world… he/she is your sunshine.

Love is feeling, feeling love

You may not heard about John Lennon before, you may not be born in the era of hippies… but it is not difficult for you to understand the above statement.

Thirsty or hungry? Try love

Tired or unmotivated? Try love

Inject yourself with the elixir of love and the excitement and pleasure is better than around the world in 80 days.

Who is love?

What is love?

When is love?

Where is love?

Why there is no love?

How love can be found?

When a boy talk to a girl… “Hey girl, be careful, he got an eyes to you…”

When a girl talk to a boy… “Hey boy, watch out, I think she like you…”

When boy & boy/girl & girl talk… “Hey boy/girl, beware… I think he/she is a you know what lah~”

Or

Why is he talking to me? Don’t tell me that he/she…

Where is the love? The love of friendship is what I meant here… pure friendship do exist, right?

Just as I thought I’m frustrating enough because of my single hood… having a person doubting my intention to befriended him/her is even more exhausting…

“Hey, you are XXX right? You are studying in this college too?”

“Yup…”

“What courses are you studying now?”

“…”

“Maybe we can …”

“Excuse me, I’m not that “friend” with you…”

“…”

The above scenario happened when I first started my freshman year in college. Similar scenario happened throughout the years till the present.

“Maybe you are happened to “like” one of them, then they didn’t misunderstand you lo?”

That might be true, who knows deep inside my mind perhaps I was initiating a great evil plan of how to woo that person “subconsciously”, or maybe… maybe I was such a damn fantastic spin doctor that I was even able to convince myself that the only objective of me befriended a girl is to become friend and nothing more (while the truth is the opposite?).

But for now, allow me to take a deep breath and step out of this mess. I’ll try not to think too much about it. Not to worry too much about it. Convince myself not to rush into relationship. Chanting: “30 years old is just the beginning of man ” 3 times a day (ha ha, my female friends, the following saying is rather cruel towards your “species”). By doing this, maybe I can delay my head from becoming botak (bald) by reducing my daily life pressure.

Love is in de Air~

Can’t you smell it?

Can’t you see it?

Can’t you feel it?

Just wanna apply this love in pure friendship way for now.

Yes, I hope that our friendship is like caffeine, an addictive kind that the more we are able to yum cha the better it is…

Yes, I hope that our friendship is positively shining like the rising sun.

No, regardless of our friendship (including best pal), your sweaty jersey/T-shirt remains stink.

Friendship forever, Cheers~!

From your Valentine~

You are the seeker of truth,
Whom purpose is great but the faith is incomplete,
Your truth is only impartial – like the 4 blind men touching the elephant,
Your groups are like those men in the myth of the cave, talking to shadows…
Your mentors are kind but truly they are being mislead…
But don’t blame them as they are like you, devoted truth seeker… within the cave.

That
is how each different religions looking at each other’s (and towards
philosophers), they might proclaim such perspectives in the publics or
silently shout it out loud in their heart… nevertheless they will pass
on such perspective to the next generations.

Lo~ and behold!
If Buddha met Jesus, he would have known the truth~
Lo~ and behold!
If Jesus met Buddha, He would have been a Buddhist~
Lo~ and behold!
The Bible is the God’s one and only revelation, nothing else~
Lo~ and behold!
The Quran is the only uncorrupted revelation of God, nothing else~

Lo~ and behold!
Multitudes of people enjoying a great show~
The warrior of faith – fly like a butterfly, sting likes a bee~
Give him an elbow, a left punch, and bring on the steel chair~!
Slaps in his face, a German duplex, and don’t forget the choke slam~!
Now we know where did the WF/WWE learnt their tricks from… from the religious group~

And the professional wrestling cooperation had yet to master their skill…

Burning at stake and with hunting in the name of God,
Suicide bombing in the name of God,
Christians and Catholics killing each other, in the name of God,
“Brothers” killing each other during the Crusade/Jihad,
To “liberate” the Asian from the Western imperialism, according to the way of Buddha,

Throughout the ages religions rule,
But it’s really nothing but superstitious,
Yes, yes it’s true that every religion intent to teach the way of life,
But like what Heinrich Heine said,
In dark ages people are best guided by religion,
As in a pitch-black night a blind man is the best guide;
He knows the roads and paths better than a man who can see.
When daylight comes, however,
It is foolish to use blind old man as guides.

An unexamined life is not worth living…
nope that is not how non-believers think about religious group as only
few of them even examined their own life. The above is the mindset of
philosophers that are irritated by the religious fanatics “kindred”
spirit.

Jay Chou Rules,
Brad Pitt is the man,
Christina Anguilera is hot,
Hong Kong Drama is the spiritual food,
Japanese foods are the best.
Love is feeling,
Feeling is love… when the feeling wore off, that is when the love dies too~
The neon lights drawing out their vision,
Nirvana achieved when liquor pumping up their vein,
Living a utopian life… Oops, not here but in Second life (an online game)

Hmmm, perhaps that is how both philosophers and religious group look at them.

Religions are good generally…
Philosophy? Boleh makan ke? (Is it some kind of food?)
Nah, nothing but superstitious…
Philosophy = love of wisdom…?
I’m a freethinker… (No-thinker to be precise)
Don’t know…
Why so serious? Let’s go karaoke instead!

Err, that is how some group of people thinks of religion or philosophy.

*The above crap is inspired and written after reading ‘god is not GREAT’ by Christopher Hitchens.

Here a song by Black Eyed Peas which I think is quite revevant to this topic:

What’s wrong with the world mama?
People living like aint got no mamas
I think the whole worlds addicted to the drama
Only attracted to the things that bring you trauma
Overseas yeah we tryin to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin
In the USA the big CIA the Bloodz and the Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And if you hatin you’re bound to get irate
Yeah madness is what you demonstrate
And that’s exactly how anger works and operates
You gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love y’all

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(where is the lovex3)(the love2x)

It just ain’t the same all ways have changed
New days are strange is the world the insane?
If love and peace so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don’t belong
Nations dropping bombs
Chemical gases filling lungs of little ones
With ongoing suffering
As the youth die young
So ask yourself is the loving really strong?
So I can ask myself really what is going wrong
With this world that we living in
People keep on giving in
Makin wrong decisions
Only visions of them livin and
Not respecting each other
Deny thy brother
The wars’ going on but the reasons’ undercover
The truth is kept secret
Swept under the rug
If you never know truth
Then you never know love
Where’s the love y’all?(I don’t know)
Where’s the truth y’all?(I don’t know)
Where’s the love y’all?

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father father father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(where is the lovex3)(the lovex2)

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I’m getting older y’all people get colder
Most of us only care about money makin
Selfishness got us followin the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting their young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what the see in the cinema
Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love, we’re spreading anomosity
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity
That’s the reason why sometimes I’m feeling under
That’s the reason why sometimes I’m feeling down
It’s no wonder why sometimes I’m feeling under
I gotta keep my faith alive, until love is found

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?

Starry starry night, the source of the light (the stars) might have been long time dead a few million light years ago before its light reach the earth; many innocent life wasted/killed under the daylight…let along during the starry starry night.

Starry starry night, under the same old sky of few thousand years ago people looking for purpose in life in religion, or philosophy, or any means to achieve summum bonum (greatest goods). few thousand years later, the pursue for highest good still however sometimes achieved by committing bloody soaked crime as the pillars of their belief.

Starry starry night, under the heavily polluted smokey sky, tonnes of toxic waste dump into nature; gallons of wine drunkard the young and the old one; bunch of ‘holy’ man condemned the sinner… many were slayed by sword, or drown in sea or river, or burn at stake, or even crucified, or its someone/country being attacked/bombed…. done in the name of God.

Starry starry night, in the days where human eyes having difficulties differentiate between the stars and the satellites. In the eyes of the no-nonsense scientists, the faithful devoted creationist are as clowning while clumsily dropping the logics and reasons all over the place while trying to juggle them.

Starry starry night, the cruel world might painted the night sky with blood and decorated it with skulls…there is still some scent of love in the air, the truth still continue to rain unto earth, hope still continue to sprang from the dirt. Many will continue to complain, or to mumble/rumble, or to criticize; there still some odd people like the stars, selflessly light the world through sacrificial love…

Yes, it’s pointless to make a wish upon the star as the stars might have already long time dead million of light years ago. But everyone should at least ponder upon about the possibilities of one’s love like the light of the star, able to reach/touch the heart even if the deeds is done million of light years ago…silently but shining, burning but not condemning, self-sacrificing but it’s effect is far reaching, illogical thus make it wonderful…

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

In the dark blue sky you keep,
While you thro’ my window peep,
And you never shut your eye,
Till the sun is in the sky,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

In years, countless of "gospel" spreading throughout the world.
In year, million of people persuading their dream,
only thousands of them succeed,
hundreds of them died trying,
few of them actually go nuts.

Day passed as the sun and the moon take their shift,
week arrived as Sunday is time to go to church,
months comes with a vengeance as bill reaching our doorstep,
another year gone as we are wondering what we have done.
Reminder of a date with the reaper will be soon as winds of decade tickle our mind.
Perhaps our legacy will benefit the next generation while our body nurture the nature after centuries.

2 days come to an end while still wandering at Port Dickson.
A day plus really been spent for wandering and waiting…
Few hours of real work for the project,
few minutes of caffeine addiction moment.
While my heart continue to "beeb" every seconds,
as I’m about to finish this crap in any seconds.

Full stop. Finish…(Still writing)
And look back at this crap of mine…
The creativity
The Sarcasms
The Observation
The Examination (self)
The discrimination
The vision
The nonsense
…… within this crap…actually…
generated by emptiness…
coated with vanity…
and finally end with the accompany of loneliness…

(Finally able to go to sleep as this crap written, a sense of great achievement are felt instantly as another monumental self-pity  work is done)

PNB ILHAM RESORT
1.25 a.m.
04/09/2007

Eyes were shut to distance oneself to the
outside world

Repetition of chanting touch the like
minded swim into their inner thought

Some kneel as the presence of the great
power weaken their knees

Tongues started to dance marking the
revelation of the great one

Countless songs dedicated to the great one
were sung

People of the great one dance swiftly, some
slow

For hours the gathering of the people of
the great one were there

For days they loyally waiting for the sign
from the great one

They waited and waited…

For days they have waited for the sign from
the great one

As time flies…

Lifted hand were swinging rapidly as it
knocking the heaven’s door

Eyes were sealed as to shield one self from
the evil one

Furious chanting grabbing those around into
the abyss of thought

Presence of the great one increase the
gravity force that some head touch the floor while they are kneeling

Attacking the air as if they were invisible
evil that is what the tongues were doing

Tones of volumes of songs were spilled as
to calling the great one to respond

Faithfully yet shaken

Patient yet nervous

Hopeful yet doubtful

Sincere yet furious

Such is the emotions surrounding the
gathering as the time started ticking

1…2…3…4…5…

More and more people gather up

5…4…3…2…1…

People left as the sand cover the grave

The people of the great one fell silent

The sign become false hope

The prophecy become lies

The gathering become a joke

But none was laughing…

Even the sarcastic one tried but he couldn’t…

Matthew 6:33 “But seek ye first the

kingdom

of

God

, and his righteousness; and all
these things shall be added unto you.”

“Seek ye first the

kingdom

of

God

,
and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

“First the kingdom of God, and his
righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

“The

kingdom

of

God

,
and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

“And all these things shall be added unto
you, if you first seek the

kingdom

of

God

, and his
righteousness;”

“All these things shall be added unto you
if you seek the

kingdom

of

God

.”

“By seeking the

kingdom

of

God

,
Love, money, career, fame and many more are your rewards…”

“Love, money, career, fame and many more
you can get if you seek the

kingdom

of

God

”

“Want to secure Love, money, career, fame
and many more in your life? Seeking the

kingdom

of

God

…
that is the condition.”

“Seeking the

kingdom

of

God

is the passport/ticket to love, money, career, fame and many more in your
life.”

“

Kingdom

of

God

is a beautiful
place where you have love, money, career, fame and many more in your life.”

“Believe in God, and God will bless you
with prosperity, love, fame and promotion!”

“God…is the god of love, money, career,
fame and many more in your life.”

“God is better than genie, believe in him
and He will grant you more than 3 wishes”

“The one who can grant me wishes to secure
love, money, career, fame and many more in your life is the real God”

“I’m the only one who can secure all these
needs… there is no God”

“I’m the only one who can secure all these
needs…I’m the God”

“Another year over,

A new one just begun…”

As year 2006 became history,

New hope, new resolution, new goal are sets

Not to mention the must attend New Year eve party.

People crowding the hotspot witnessing the countdown,

Few looking back and examine their life,

Few looking forward to make a change in the future,

Few really think much,

Few really care… except the countdown, the atmosphere of the crowd,

The music that shaking everyone’s heads off,

The alcohol the stirring up the mind, the touch/hugging/kissing from the love that is both real to the flesh while comforting the mind.

And perhaps few don’t know what to think of but hoping something better will appear in their life…new hope, or new resolution, or new goal, new job or a new partner…

As the rooster crow during the first light in the morning,

The crowds cheer as the time is ticking.

But the crow mark another new day is coming,

The cheering unfortunately is mostly made for the sake of shouting (for fun?)

Happy New Year! Happy New Year!

Lucky for everyone, thanks to the holid… they only need to suffer the “Tuesday Blue”

Happy New Year! Happy New Year!

People complain are about the same: job dissatisfaction, relationship problem, money not enough, everything is not okay.

People starting the same routine again as they read the daily news:

“Which movie stars is having affair now? Which singer appears naked in their concert?

How many people die in the accident?

How many being robbed off of their possession or even their life?

Which politicians starting to weave another lie?

Why people raging war with each other?”

Laughing, or entertained, or sympathy, or hatred, or confused, or even some might shed their tea… but that come to an end when the final page of the newspaper flipped.

Back to reality, it’s time for us to cause others to Laugh/entertained/hatred/confused/cry…

Of course, that is inclusive of raging war against the enemies in your workplace.

As the biologist explain the how the organisms find their ideal partner to produce the better offspring/next generation.

Few can really explain why on the contrary, human kinds are becoming worsened throughout the generations.

People like to point fingers unto other while not able to take criticism themselves.

People like compliment as though their every move/action are worth to be nominated them a series of Nobel prizes.

We like everything that is spicy and nice but don’t dare to work for them.

Nowadays our hairstyles come in variety with the selection of color for display,

Clothing that promise to bring the best out of us…

Best resume that we can download online that guaranteed grabbing the attention of the our future employer,

Fantastic assignment from the anonymous sources which by hope or by crook might help the students passed their grade.

(Note: Good plagiarism required efforts too! Don’t just copy and paste the entire article! Remove the link (online) and edit the font! And last but not least, are you sure your English proficiency level is as good as the original sources? Sigh, nowadays people don’t even have the right attitude to plagiarized a work/college assignment.)

Except all of these, by looking the way the new generation behave, one had to wonder the authenticity of Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution.

While I was only started another of my sarcasms and complaining towards everything in this year just like everyone else, here I would like to dedicated this song to all my friends/enemies…By John Lennon:

So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear
And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong
And so happy Christmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Let’s stop all the fight
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear
And so this is Christmas
And what have we done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear
War is over
If you want it
War is over
Now…

So there he is "educating" the young students at the institution ("I’m still young too!" the madmen said)

The young one starring at the madmen as he is a clown, and panic as they were listening to different tounge (language). But maybe the latter part is true as the madmen using English to communicate with the "Chinamen" in class.

Some students try to listen, some just being honest yawning just right in front of the madmen. And some trying to communicate with their own shadow or applying lipstick unto the their own shadow… hoping it can make themselves better.

Second week arrived in his teaching career and the madmen discovered that the institution or the students themselves are "madder" than him…a young lad have commit suicide!

The reason that made him take such a step? love? peer pressure? family? academic performance?

"HAhahahaha……" the friends of the madmen laugh as they heard this news, "it must be your fault lah! He must be cannot stand your teaching even for a day! Hahahaha……"

The madmen tyring to laugh at that……

But later ponder more about it……